I was raised in California by two typical LDS parents trying to raise 8 children in the Gospel. I served a 2 year proselyting mission. I got married in the temple to a wonderful woman. Yet like many Latter-Day Saints, I was raised to believe that perfection was what God expected of me. I believed that maybe, if I repent and live as close to perfect as possible, I might be able to make back to the presence of God. Yet it seemed no matter how hard I tried I would never be good enough. I continuously felt like a failure. I was raised to believe that God could not look on sin with the least degree of allowance and as a sinner; I was therefore an enemy to God.
This belief led me to feelings of worthlessness. As thoughts of unworthiness filled me with doubt and feelings of despair, a desire to give up on faith entered my heart. I believed God to be a God of punishment, condemnation and damnation and I was worth less than the dust of the earth. In the depths of despair, I found hope in redefining my beliefs and gaining a personal testimony of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I learned that the God that I was raised to believe in was not a loving Father in Heaven. As I rejected this false God, and embraced the belief of a loving Father who is patient, kind, long-suffering, forgiving, and all other Godly attributes, I found a new foundation to build on. That foundation changed my entire view of Heavenly Father and my place in His Kingdom.
The point of this blog is to share my experiences, thoughts and feelings in hopes that it might explain the Gospel in such a way that it gives hope, peace and strength. As I continue to gain knowledge of our Father in Heaven’s love for us, I find an increase in faith. Faith, that the Plan of Salvation truly is a “Plan of Happiness.”
This belief led me to feelings of worthlessness. As thoughts of unworthiness filled me with doubt and feelings of despair, a desire to give up on faith entered my heart. I believed God to be a God of punishment, condemnation and damnation and I was worth less than the dust of the earth. In the depths of despair, I found hope in redefining my beliefs and gaining a personal testimony of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I learned that the God that I was raised to believe in was not a loving Father in Heaven. As I rejected this false God, and embraced the belief of a loving Father who is patient, kind, long-suffering, forgiving, and all other Godly attributes, I found a new foundation to build on. That foundation changed my entire view of Heavenly Father and my place in His Kingdom.
The point of this blog is to share my experiences, thoughts and feelings in hopes that it might explain the Gospel in such a way that it gives hope, peace and strength. As I continue to gain knowledge of our Father in Heaven’s love for us, I find an increase in faith. Faith, that the Plan of Salvation truly is a “Plan of Happiness.”
